Plus Sized, I Am

Plus-Sized, I am


Plus-sized, I am
Ridiculed for it, I will be damned
I am not a size eight
I do not have a size zero waist




Plus-sized, I am
Ridiculed for it, I will be damned
Strong and beautiful I stand
I am my biggest fan


Plus-sized, I am
Ridiculed for it, I will be damned
With a no care attitude
I am reaching up to the highest altitude


Plus-sized, I am
Ridiculed for it, I will be damned
I am going to live life
Giving it all my might


Plus-sized, I am
Ridiculed for it, I will be damned
Forgetting the Haters
And climbing high towards the sky

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Facebook: Brianna Nicole Blackwell, blackwell94@hotmail.com
Twitter: @msbri256
BBM: 326C0822

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Acceptance

When I was born, I had love from God, my mother, and my father. Honestly, that's all I need. Many people are too quick to judge and point fingers, but in all actuality...how can you? How can I, or anyone else, judge a person? Have I lived their life? No. Do I know their true intentions? No. Have I walked a day in their shoes? No. The only person in the position to judge is God. So I get so sick of people saying cruel things to people, and being quick to pass judgement. But in all honesty, I could care less what anyone thinks of me. I'm me, and I am loved. I love myself unconditionally! I dont have the need or desire for the world to love me, or even like me. I dont need acceptance from anyone to make me happy. I have obtained an "I dont give a fuck" sticker. lol. That is truly my mentality about that. But it saddens me because many people feel the need to have that acceptance from everyone. They feed off of that sorta thing. And when they dont get it, it makes them feel as if their life isnt worth living. People should take a good look in the mirror, and judge themselves before they try to judge anyone else. The next time you attempt to judge someone....take a step into their shoes. I guarantee you if you did that, your outlook on that person would be totally different. The last time I judged someone, I was made a fool of. There I was, acting all high and mighty, trying to judge that person..but I didnt know them, or had no clue about what they were going through. But when I did get to know them, and knew what was going on in their lives...I felt stupid for even doing what I did in the first place. Dont be too quick to judge a person!

Another Lesson Learned...

So I was just in a relationship with this guy...and he had a babymama. He and I had a short lived relationship because I decided I wanted to ride solo for awhile. I know that hurt him, but I had to do what was best for me at the time. And at that time...it seemed right. So we stopped talking because a week later he was so-called "engaged" to the babymama that he didnt want. That made me think that he was cheating... But anyway, we stopped communicating for a few weeks and then he sent me a message on Facebook and said he missed me. I missed him too..so we started back texting. His babymama didnt appreciate the fact that me and him were talking again. (I had called her out her name the last time) So...I was still unsure about whether I wanted to be in a relationship again. I finally made up my mind last Friday..but he said we would have to see each other and determine how much chemistry we actually had. So on Saturday, he came and visited me. We chilled and talked. And we had a DEEP conversation about US. He told me his decision whether to pick me or her was clear. He loved me. He felt good around me. I loved him. I felt good around him. So we chilled...and I had a good time. He left. And I went to bed with a WIDE smile on my face. So we didnt talk none on Sunday. And it was driving me crazy. But deep down I kinda figured something was wrong. I just had that "gut feeling". So on Monday we finally talked. But I could tell by the tone of his voice that something wasnt right. So I said, "Hey whats up baby?". "Chillin," was all he said. So I told him I missed him. Then he said. "Look...we need to talk." And then I KNEW something was wrong. I asked, "What is it? You dont want me or something??" Then he continued.."It isnt that I dont want to...its just...that I cant. Shes pregnant (his babymama) and her mama kicked her out so shes moving in with me." My heart dropped and I just started crying uncontrollably. I was crushed. I loved him so much. And I felt that if I wouldnt have broke up with him in the first place, I wouldnt be in the situation in the first place. His tone was so cold to me...which hurt me worse. So I was depressed the rest of that day. And the next day...he told me he never really loved me and he was with me just to make her jealous. I cant believe I actually trusted him...I was willing to give him my all. But what was my gift in return?? Pain...Again I was hurt and my feelings werent thought about. So now I'm crushed and wishing to feel loved by someone thats a jerk. I really loved him. But I guess loving someone will only bring me pain. Thats all it has brought me in the past. I want so badly to be loved by him...but you cant make anyone love/like you...or wanna be with you. And although thats the truth...its still very painful. But the COLD truth is...Life must go on! I cant mope around over someone who didnt deserve my heart in the very first place. It is what it is. And its gonna be exactly what it is! Theres someone out there for everyone. That heartbreak has made me a lot less vulnerable. And now I wont give the key to my heart away to my heart so easily...because you never know a persons true intentions. He picked her. And although its hard to accept, its the truth. I deserve the best...and he wasnt the best. I keep telling myself the truth over and over. I know now not to be so gullible. The sad part about the whole situation is that shes pregnant...and shes working on her 2nd child...and shes not even 21 yet. How sad! But..hey..better her than me. I have goals...and I cant let anyone hold me down. And thats exactly what my ex wouldve done...held me down! But thanks to him...and the drama that occurred...Im STRONGER! :) I know not to trust so easily. I know not to love so easily. And thank God for that. I refuse to keep crying over someone like him. He aint worth it all. Love will come around. Theres someone for everyone. And im sure my Mr.Right will arrive soon enough. Until then...I'm riding solo! :)

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Quick quote...I love it! :)

Sometimes you've got to let everything go—purge yourself . . . If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes ou

Relationships

Relationships....are....complicated. Thats the first word that come to my mind when I think about relationships and love. I have yet to truly discover real love. Guys these days are immature and truly dont know what they want. Some guys arent ready to just settle down and be with one person. And thats the cold truth. Hell...some girls arent either. So I've just decided to just be single and explore my options. I dont wanna settle so quick and get hurt. Its best that way. I wanna meet and get to know different individuals and see how we connect. I want love to come naturally...because thats how its suppose to be. I'm done with "looking" for love. As long as I'm looking...I'm gonna run into some people that dont even deserve to be in my life. And that would cause me more heartbreak. Having a broken heart is the hardest thing to get over. I've learned to develop feelings so quick. I'm done with wasting my precious time with foolish guys that dont know what they want in a relationship and in life in general. I have goals in life and the last thing I need is someone holding me back because they're constantly bringing drama into my life. So I'm just gonna sit back and relax...and let love come to me. In the meantime I'm gonna live my life and get my own damn self together. So many women think they "need" a man. Men sometimes think the same. Be content with you first and then everything will fall into place. One thing I know is that there's someone for me. Everyone has a soulmate. If you ever meet them just depends on your decisions in life and love! I refuse to settle just because I dont wanna be alone. Thats some bullshit. I deserve the best, and thats exactly what I'm gonna get! Settling wont get you anywhere. You wont find your soulmate if you just settle. I have a certain guy I like...and the guys that "try" to talk to me are from it. They're immature...they're thirsty...and they dont have goals in life. I may be single...but I'm not desperate! I'm a beautiful young woman....and someone wouldnt mind treating me like they're queen! lol Why settle for someone thats gonna be in the same position they're in now 5 years from now?? Fuck that! I've gone through alot when it comes to relationships...I've dealt with cheaters, liars, sex crazed mofos, and all kinda crazy shit. And the reason why I came across them is because I didnt take the time to get to know them. I just jumped into something...which was my mistake. I'm done making them mistakes! So until I find "the one" and I trust in my heart he's meant for me...I guess I'll just be single because I'll be damned if I settle for anything less that what I deserve!!!