Another Lesson Learned...

So I was just in a relationship with this guy...and he had a babymama. He and I had a short lived relationship because I decided I wanted to ride solo for awhile. I know that hurt him, but I had to do what was best for me at the time. And at that time...it seemed right. So we stopped talking because a week later he was so-called "engaged" to the babymama that he didnt want. That made me think that he was cheating... But anyway, we stopped communicating for a few weeks and then he sent me a message on Facebook and said he missed me. I missed him too..so we started back texting. His babymama didnt appreciate the fact that me and him were talking again. (I had called her out her name the last time) So...I was still unsure about whether I wanted to be in a relationship again. I finally made up my mind last Friday..but he said we would have to see each other and determine how much chemistry we actually had. So on Saturday, he came and visited me. We chilled and talked. And we had a DEEP conversation about US. He told me his decision whether to pick me or her was clear. He loved me. He felt good around me. I loved him. I felt good around him. So we chilled...and I had a good time. He left. And I went to bed with a WIDE smile on my face. So we didnt talk none on Sunday. And it was driving me crazy. But deep down I kinda figured something was wrong. I just had that "gut feeling". So on Monday we finally talked. But I could tell by the tone of his voice that something wasnt right. So I said, "Hey whats up baby?". "Chillin," was all he said. So I told him I missed him. Then he said. "Look...we need to talk." And then I KNEW something was wrong. I asked, "What is it? You dont want me or something??" Then he continued.."It isnt that I dont want to...its just...that I cant. Shes pregnant (his babymama) and her mama kicked her out so shes moving in with me." My heart dropped and I just started crying uncontrollably. I was crushed. I loved him so much. And I felt that if I wouldnt have broke up with him in the first place, I wouldnt be in the situation in the first place. His tone was so cold to me...which hurt me worse. So I was depressed the rest of that day. And the next day...he told me he never really loved me and he was with me just to make her jealous. I cant believe I actually trusted him...I was willing to give him my all. But what was my gift in return?? Pain...Again I was hurt and my feelings werent thought about. So now I'm crushed and wishing to feel loved by someone thats a jerk. I really loved him. But I guess loving someone will only bring me pain. Thats all it has brought me in the past. I want so badly to be loved by him...but you cant make anyone love/like you...or wanna be with you. And although thats the truth...its still very painful. But the COLD truth is...Life must go on! I cant mope around over someone who didnt deserve my heart in the very first place. It is what it is. And its gonna be exactly what it is! Theres someone out there for everyone. That heartbreak has made me a lot less vulnerable. And now I wont give the key to my heart away to my heart so easily...because you never know a persons true intentions. He picked her. And although its hard to accept, its the truth. I deserve the best...and he wasnt the best. I keep telling myself the truth over and over. I know now not to be so gullible. The sad part about the whole situation is that shes pregnant...and shes working on her 2nd child...and shes not even 21 yet. How sad! But..hey..better her than me. I have goals...and I cant let anyone hold me down. And thats exactly what my ex wouldve done...held me down! But thanks to him...and the drama that occurred...Im STRONGER! :) I know not to trust so easily. I know not to love so easily. And thank God for that. I refuse to keep crying over someone like him. He aint worth it all. Love will come around. Theres someone for everyone. And im sure my Mr.Right will arrive soon enough. Until then...I'm riding solo! :)

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Quick quote...I love it! :)

Sometimes you've got to let everything go—purge yourself . . . If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes ou

Relationships

Relationships....are....complicated. Thats the first word that come to my mind when I think about relationships and love. I have yet to truly discover real love. Guys these days are immature and truly dont know what they want. Some guys arent ready to just settle down and be with one person. And thats the cold truth. Hell...some girls arent either. So I've just decided to just be single and explore my options. I dont wanna settle so quick and get hurt. Its best that way. I wanna meet and get to know different individuals and see how we connect. I want love to come naturally...because thats how its suppose to be. I'm done with "looking" for love. As long as I'm looking...I'm gonna run into some people that dont even deserve to be in my life. And that would cause me more heartbreak. Having a broken heart is the hardest thing to get over. I've learned to develop feelings so quick. I'm done with wasting my precious time with foolish guys that dont know what they want in a relationship and in life in general. I have goals in life and the last thing I need is someone holding me back because they're constantly bringing drama into my life. So I'm just gonna sit back and relax...and let love come to me. In the meantime I'm gonna live my life and get my own damn self together. So many women think they "need" a man. Men sometimes think the same. Be content with you first and then everything will fall into place. One thing I know is that there's someone for me. Everyone has a soulmate. If you ever meet them just depends on your decisions in life and love! I refuse to settle just because I dont wanna be alone. Thats some bullshit. I deserve the best, and thats exactly what I'm gonna get! Settling wont get you anywhere. You wont find your soulmate if you just settle. I have a certain guy I like...and the guys that "try" to talk to me are from it. They're immature...they're thirsty...and they dont have goals in life. I may be single...but I'm not desperate! I'm a beautiful young woman....and someone wouldnt mind treating me like they're queen! lol Why settle for someone thats gonna be in the same position they're in now 5 years from now?? Fuck that! I've gone through alot when it comes to relationships...I've dealt with cheaters, liars, sex crazed mofos, and all kinda crazy shit. And the reason why I came across them is because I didnt take the time to get to know them. I just jumped into something...which was my mistake. I'm done making them mistakes! So until I find "the one" and I trust in my heart he's meant for me...I guess I'll just be single because I'll be damned if I settle for anything less that what I deserve!!!

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Whatcha wanna know?!? I'll be honest...I promise!! http://formspring.me/MsBri256

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Whatcha wanna know?!? I'll be honest...I promise!! http://formspring.me/MsBri256

Dr.Conrad Murray

A couple of weeks ago the Los Angeles County D.A. decided to charge Michael Jackson's personal doctor Dr. Conrad Murray with involuntary manslaughter. He surrended and immediately posted bail. I was enraged. The King of Pop and of course the best entertainer of all time dies and his murderer is charged with manslaughter and can only get up to 4 years in jail! Hell naw!!! I dont feel justice is being served. Dr.Conrad Murray should have been wayyy more careful than he was. He knew he was putting the health of his patient in jeopardy. I dont care if Michael did want more pills or something stronger to fall asleep...Dr. Murray's responsiblity was to make sure whatever he gave his patient was safe. I think the charge should at least be murder. Nothing will bring back Michael but we definitely want this to happen to anyone else. Dr. Conrad shouldnt be able to practice medicine ever again. He should pay for actions in that way also. I still feel bad for Paris, Prince, and Blanket. But at least some charges will be filed. But I dont care what charges were filed...that will NEVER be enough! Only Dr. Conrad Murray and God know his real intentions and God will deal with him! R.I.P. Michael Jackson!!! You will be missed and no matter what JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED!!!!!

We Are The World 25

Recently Lionel Richie & Quincy Jones brought together various types of artist to recreate "We Are The World". The remake of the song would be dedicated to Haiti and the many victims of the Earthquake. 25 years ago, It was in the same studio that artists (which are now on legend status) created the song for Africa. We Are The World 25 feature artists such as Justin Bieber, Jennifer Hudson, Jamie Foxx, Lil Wayne, Toni Braxton, Barbra Streisand, Janet Jackson, Miley Cyrus, and many more great talents! I love the new version of it and I commend the artists for taking part in such an important cause! Im still amazed about how much the world has all came together to help Haiti! Michael Jackson would have been very proud! The song also includes his parts. I didnt too much think they needed a rap part in there at first but it actually sounds pretty good!  The premiere of the music video premiered on the Winter Olympics, which I must say, was a great place to premiere it on! We all need to continue to help Haiti...even years from now! Haiti suffered a devastating tragedy and the country will never be the same...but we can help them stay strong and have hope! So give now! Check out my Haiti blog to find out ways to give to Haiti today!!!

Check out "We Are The World 25" by clicking here! 

Hope for Haiti

Many of you know that on January 12, 2010 at 4:53 pm a 7.0 Earthquake occured in Haiti. Immediately schools, houses, the Capital in Port Au Prince, and many other buildings came tumbling down. There were 28 aftershocks that were about 4.0. The world that the Haitians knew was no longer there. All was left was bricks and fallen buildings. Within seconds people scattered all over trying to find their loved ones and make sure they were okay. Unfortunately many adults and children were trapped under buildings. At the moment, over 200,000 people have died and the numbers continue to rise. When I first heard the news I was in total shock of the situation. I couldnt imagine what occured within those minutes. It saddened me to the furthest degree. I couldnt stand to see all those people scattered all across the land. I was asking myself how I would feel if I ever had to endure such thing. Honestly, I dont think I would have had the strength that they had. Haiti has gone through many tragedies and this just put the icing on the cake. My heart goes out to all the victims and the victims' families. Through this all the Haitians are still having the strength to overcome. Last night I watched "Hope for Haiti" which was a starstudded telethon to help raise money for many charities that donate and help out Haiti. It was amazing to see all those stars working together to help out those in need. Its amazing to see how the world is coming together to help Haiti. Thats how it should be...the world should come together! I know this is pretty random but I wonder what Michael Jackson would have done for Haiti if he was living?? Well I can answer that...He would have given all he possibly could and then some. I know hes looking down on the people of Haiti right now though! Everyone should donate to help Haiti. It doesnt have to be much at all. Just give something...anything. At this time...they need EVERYONE's help! Theres millions of people in the United States alone, just think of over half of the U.S. gave $10. That would bge great! Haitians are in need of shelter, food, clothes, and medical attention. Many children lost their parents so orphanages are in need also. Lets continue to pray for Haiti and hope they do overcome this tragedy!!!



Give Now!!! Heres a couple ways you can give:

Text "HAITI" to 90999 to donate $10 to American Red Cross (billed to your cellphone bill)
http://www.redcross.org/

Text "YELE" to 501501 to donate $5 to Yéle Haiti Earthquake Fund (billed to your cellphone bill)
http://www.yele.org/

Donate via credit card/Paypal at http://www.hopeforhaitinow.org/ 

Hope For Haiti Now Donate Line
1-877-99-HAITI (US & Canada)
+1 773 360 0205 (International)

Donate today!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whats Next?!? (Expectations for 2010)

I want 2010 to be different. Its not only a new year, its a new decade! The 2000s had so many ups and downs. I want the new decade to unleash a new beginning and a new Brianna! We moved out our old (and smaller) house and moved in a new (and bigger house)! I'm so excited! Its hard to leave all those memories behind but its time for a change. I said that in 2009 but this year I'm gonna live up to my word. I wanna improve my image the most! I wanna make a change. I've been blessed to be healthy and when I say that I mean that I dont have diabetes or high blood pressure. So I'ma make that change for my health! (Wish me luck!) I also wanna get my license, get a job, and celebrate my sweet 16! 2010 = peace, love, and happiness! Yeah I know I'm young (dont look it though)! But 2010 is gonna be a very exciting year!!! I'm so happy its finally here! And I'm ready to make a change!!!

Remembering 2009

2009 was filled with alot of unpredictable and shocking events. In January the first black president took office. That was history and January 20 is a day that none of us will never forget! I never thought I'd live to see such thing. But now I know that I should never say never. You never know what will happen. My year started off well but then in Feb. my twin cousins' father had a tragic death (he froze to death and went into cardiac arrest) which was the first of a string of deaths that were ahead. After that death it took my cousins a hard time coping with that. One of my twins cousin had been in jail for 3 years and hadnt seen his father in that long. I still dont see how he dealt with that. They were close to their father. I'm glad the warden let him out for the funeral. But after that everything was good until the world lost two extraordinary entertainers. We lost Farrah Fawcett (Charlie's Angels) and the legendary King Of Pop Michael Jackson! Who would have ever thought they would have died on the same day?? How weird. R.I.P. to them both!
   In the spring we found out my grandfather had lung cancer. That was a shock because almost 5 years earlier my grandma died from the same thing! The doctors couldnt do anything considering my grandfathers lack of strength and energy so his days would be short. He died July 8. That was another family tragedy. So neither one of my maternal grandparents are alive. In August my twin cousin was released from prison which was good. In September our neighbor (I'd knew him every since I was born) died. In November I reconnected to my bestfriend...we had lost contact for a year or so. December was when things went worse. My great aunt passed away. My friends baby boy (he was 10 mths) passed away. And my old bus driver passed away. My grandmother always told me death come in 3...I believe her! Seems like when one person I know or is related to my family somehow die...2 more die too! A part of me always have believed in superstition (I'm not into cult or anything lolz) After everything that happened in 2009, I'm glad its gone. 2009 was like a horror movie...everyone was dying off. Hopefully this year everything will go better. I'ma keep my fingers crossed!!!


***RIP to all the great people we lost in 2009. Gone but never forgotten!***