Another Lesson Learned...

So I was just in a relationship with this guy...and he had a babymama. He and I had a short lived relationship because I decided I wanted to ride solo for awhile. I know that hurt him, but I had to do what was best for me at the time. And at that time...it seemed right. So we stopped talking because a week later he was so-called "engaged" to the babymama that he didnt want. That made me think that he was cheating... But anyway, we stopped communicating for a few weeks and then he sent me a message on Facebook and said he missed me. I missed him too..so we started back texting. His babymama didnt appreciate the fact that me and him were talking again. (I had called her out her name the last time) So...I was still unsure about whether I wanted to be in a relationship again. I finally made up my mind last Friday..but he said we would have to see each other and determine how much chemistry we actually had. So on Saturday, he came and visited me. We chilled and talked. And we had a DEEP conversation about US. He told me his decision whether to pick me or her was clear. He loved me. He felt good around me. I loved him. I felt good around him. So we chilled...and I had a good time. He left. And I went to bed with a WIDE smile on my face. So we didnt talk none on Sunday. And it was driving me crazy. But deep down I kinda figured something was wrong. I just had that "gut feeling". So on Monday we finally talked. But I could tell by the tone of his voice that something wasnt right. So I said, "Hey whats up baby?". "Chillin," was all he said. So I told him I missed him. Then he said. "Look...we need to talk." And then I KNEW something was wrong. I asked, "What is it? You dont want me or something??" Then he continued.."It isnt that I dont want to...its just...that I cant. Shes pregnant (his babymama) and her mama kicked her out so shes moving in with me." My heart dropped and I just started crying uncontrollably. I was crushed. I loved him so much. And I felt that if I wouldnt have broke up with him in the first place, I wouldnt be in the situation in the first place. His tone was so cold to me...which hurt me worse. So I was depressed the rest of that day. And the next day...he told me he never really loved me and he was with me just to make her jealous. I cant believe I actually trusted him...I was willing to give him my all. But what was my gift in return?? Pain...Again I was hurt and my feelings werent thought about. So now I'm crushed and wishing to feel loved by someone thats a jerk. I really loved him. But I guess loving someone will only bring me pain. Thats all it has brought me in the past. I want so badly to be loved by him...but you cant make anyone love/like you...or wanna be with you. And although thats the truth...its still very painful. But the COLD truth is...Life must go on! I cant mope around over someone who didnt deserve my heart in the very first place. It is what it is. And its gonna be exactly what it is! Theres someone out there for everyone. That heartbreak has made me a lot less vulnerable. And now I wont give the key to my heart away to my heart so easily...because you never know a persons true intentions. He picked her. And although its hard to accept, its the truth. I deserve the best...and he wasnt the best. I keep telling myself the truth over and over. I know now not to be so gullible. The sad part about the whole situation is that shes pregnant...and shes working on her 2nd child...and shes not even 21 yet. How sad! But..hey..better her than me. I have goals...and I cant let anyone hold me down. And thats exactly what my ex wouldve done...held me down! But thanks to him...and the drama that occurred...Im STRONGER! :) I know not to trust so easily. I know not to love so easily. And thank God for that. I refuse to keep crying over someone like him. He aint worth it all. Love will come around. Theres someone for everyone. And im sure my Mr.Right will arrive soon enough. Until then...I'm riding solo! :)