Accepting Myself

One of the main issues in my life is how I seem to always put my own self down. For as long as I can remember I've had low self esteem and low confidence. I've never been comfortable in the skin I'm in. When I was in public school, I used to get picked on alot. And I let it affect me. Those incidents have made me weak. And it's only becoming worse. There was a time that I didn't even wanna get out of the house. I was so depressed. I didn't even wanna be seen. I was sit up in PJs all day. And sometimes I still do that. I shelter myself from the world because I seem to think that everyone is talking negative about me. All my life I've been a big girl. I'm tired of being a big girl. I have nothing against being a big girl but it's just that I wanna be healthy. Not morbidly obese. But healthy. I wanna live a long time. I wanna be comfortable in my own skin. One day last week, I woke up and I was thinking to myself about what all I had been through in my life and how I truly wanted to change. I woke my sister up and asked her if she wanted to walk together. I had been saying that I was gonna start walking for a long while. But that morning I finally decided to stop talking so much and actually do it. All the energy I had been putting into talking about myself negatively could have been used to make a difference and change the way I am. Many women talk about how they wanna lose weight but they never stick to their words. They always say that they're gonna start on this and that date. Why not start today? You can make a difference today. Those were the thoughts running through my head. I felt like it was time for me to get up and do it. I had done enough talking. So ever since then my sister and I have been getting up before we start school and walking around the whole neighborhood. Now I feel like I'm doing something. And when I feel like I wanna quit I think of all the people that picked at me and called me all kinda names. I'm ready to prove to them and myself that I can do it. But before I made a change...I had to accept myself for who I am first. I had to learn how to love myself. Other people love me. Why couldn't I? On that day something changed in me. I no longer cared about what people thought or said. Their opinions shouldn't affect me. Nor should it break or make me. The only person who had the right to judge me was GOD. He was the only person that mattered. Right now, I feel good about my body image. I love myself. Its time out for crying about how I look. Its time out for knocking my own self esteem down. Confidence is what makes a woman sexy! Through all of this the only person that wasn't accepting me was myself. It was more me than others. I have a wonderful man that loves me. I have a wonderful family that loves me. I have wonderful friends that love me. So why couldn't I love myself? If I didn't learn how to love myself..I wouldn't have gotten the strength to change. I feel myself getting stronger and stronger by the day. I thank God for giving me the strength!

-♥Brianna